The fear of failure is always there, but with each passing day spent clean and sober the worry that I will go back to the old ways recedes. Looking back at an old documentary reminds me of falling off the wagon.
At one stage in the documentary, I break down when remembering a previous failure to get clean - a four-year stretch at one stage.
"I genuinely wanted to, but I just wasn't ready for it. I have to learn to my love myself and do the right thing by me now, but it's very painful.
"This is why I was afraid to give up the drugs because I knew all this stuff would come up and every time I got clean before, I never connected with all this stuff. I could talk the talk but it was always only on a head level."
That was two years ago, a lifetime.
Your an inspiration to many people out there.
ReplyDeleteI just got your book from the library today and am addicted to it, your story is amazing.
Well done for overcoming the addiction and turning your life around.
Hey Rachel, have recently read your memoirs and they reduced me to tears. You are such a fab inspiration to young people. I am a secondary school teacher of boys, would love it if you would speak to our sixth years at some stage.
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel, I took your memoirs with me on hols to read as it was passed around to every woman in my family...what can I say only I read every page of the book in 5 hours, I could not put it down. What a captivating read. I am in awe at your honesty, your strength and your journey from addiction to recovery. Well done on what you have achieved! I feel like I know you from the book, I cried and I laughed, was almost like you were sitting next to me talking to me....Keep up the good work that your doing.
ReplyDeleteHi Rachael, i'm just in the middle of reading your memoirs and i must say that i truly admire you,your honesty and strength. I have been unable to put the book down since i purchased it 2 day ago. I think you are an amazing person and thank you for sharing! I wish you the very best in life.
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